Why You Shouldn't Ditch 2016 Just Yet

It's been a while - a long while since I've written here.  I decided to dust this space off and crack our front door open a bit to give you a glimpse of what's going on inside.  By nature,  I've come to accept that I'm an intensely private person.  However, in my time alone with my journal, a cup of coffee, and the Holy Spirit, reflecting on 2016 and looking ahead to a new year, I felt the nudge to let you in.   I assume it's not for just for me, but hopefully there's a chance one or two of you may find a dose of hope and encouragement.  

I'll spare the mic drop of telling you how many times we've moved in the past four years.  Let's just jump to the beginning of 2016.  For almost three years now we have been primarily responsible for my husband's mom who has quite a few health issues.  We've walked the journey into the season of one of our parents no longer being able to live alone and figuring out what the next steps were.  We find ourselves in two phases of life at the same time: raising small children and caring for an aging parent.  Early this year, we began to pray about what it was supposed to look like from here on out, and had deep conviction that our home (both the physical one and the culture and atmosphere that exists within our family) was to be a place where all can thrive.   Not long at all after the conversation my husband and I had coming into agreement that, "yes, this is God's heart for us and this is who we want to be" that Bam! the doors opened and we found ourselves the new owners of a home that had the layout we needed for my mother-in-law to be with us permanently.   Our heads were spinning from the speed at which all of this happened.  The following two or three months consisted of packing our current home while homeschooling, working,  and continuing to care for my mother-in-law from where she was currently living.  Her care didn't stop just because we were in transition.  We closed on the new home and had to do some substantial remodeling to the space where she would be living along with adding some safety features.  We moved.  We packed her up, moved her, unpacked us all and then dealt with the emotional adjustments to our new "normal."  I thought my kids were exceedingly adaptable given their life experiences, but one surprised us significant difficulty adjusting to the change, and we walked through that with him.  It all sounds romantic with phrases like "we want our home to be haven, a refuge for those in need."  The truth is, it's hard!  It's messy!  There were days that we thought, "what did we just do?"  A month or so into it, things began to smooth out. Kids were calming down, routines were being formed, boxes unpacked, mother-in-law beginning to feel at home when we were thrown another curve ball.  In July she came down with a cold which led to pneumonia which led discovering a mass which led to a diagnosis of stage 3 lung cancer.  Within months of the day my husband and I said "yes" to what we felt God saying, this is where we found ourselves - parents to two young children, one husband working full time, one wife homeschooling, and walking with an aging parent who lives with us and going through cancer treatment which consists of numerous doctor's appointments, and daily trips for radiation treatments which lasted seven weeks, the side effects, two falls one that included an ambulance ride and a broken rib, the other a head injury, and two more bouts of pneumonia.  We have friends, family, and a close community that knows the inner workings of our life right now (for which we are extremely thankful!), and I don't feel obligated to share our current circumstance, but I want to.  I want to because I know with every smiling picture posted on social media, sometimes there's more than meets the eye.  We are all caught up in a story bigger than ourselves.  We all wrestle.  We all doubt and wonder if certain seasons are ever going to change. I've seen lots of posts lately that say something to the effect of "Ready to say goodbye to 2016 and move on to 2017."  The thing is, I feel like I read similar posts last year about 2015 and 1016 and the year before that.  Can I suggest that if we dig deep enough we can uncover some real gems in the midst of whatever was hard about our previous year?  For all that I just shared above there have been countless moments of pure joy and many things to be thankful  for  like... Countless meals shared around our table.  Friends bringing us meals unexpectedly on a hard day numerous times.   People watching our kids in a moments notice.  Reading good books cuddled on the sofa with my boys.  Visits from out of town friends and family.  Laughter. Friendship.  Date nights. Meeting new neighbors who have quickly become friends and making other new friends. Countless walks and jogs on the trail near our house. Seeing God do miracles in a friend's health.  The cancer in my mother in law has shrunk from the radiation. My parents came to visit. Our boys are thriving.  Great doctors and nurses. Always having what we need when we need it. Provision of a home and space so quickly. The timing of having everyone moved before we found out about the cancer, and I could go on. 

It's amazing that as intense as this year has been, it has not been without joy.  That's because we can have exhaustion, anxst (apparently this isn't a word, but I'm using it anyway), frustration, tears, pain, and uncertainty.  We can even flop and fail at what we're trying to be about.  Some days I feel like the worst person for this job!  I'm constantly learning that perfection is not a pre-requisite.  Then like a flower squeezing up through the cracks of a sidewalk joy appears.  It's deep seated.  It's strong.  It defies external circumstances.  It's not happiness.  It's better than that.  Happiness is fleeting and it hinges on my circumstances.  Joy comes from the Giver of all good gifts.  Most often we miss it because it's packaged in things we like to avoid like patience, hardship, suffering, and inconvenience.  If we dare to receive the package and stay the course, it's coming, it's there.  It's even available in the midst of our trials if we know that what we are going through is not without good purpose.  The umbrella of the Father's heart towards us is our covering.  It gives us permission for joy.  We would not have a reference for this if we had not been through other extremely hard seasons in the recent past.  We've learned to view these times as a gift - a gift to our character, a gift to our perseverance, and a gift of trusting deeper in the Father heart of God.  Our prayer then and still is that we would not shy away but let endurance, let the trial accomplish all that it is meant to in us.  I love how The Message articulates James 1:2-4 

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.  You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.  So don't try to get out of anything prematurely.  Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.  

One thing I continue to learn is that trying  to position my life to avoid uncertainty, inconvenience, and any encroachment on my freedoms and comfort is not where my emptiness will be filled or true joy will come from.  I'm with everyone else.  I love the hope of a brand new year and the possibilities it holds.  We've personally got several specific goals for this year.   However, don't leave 2016 in the rear view mirror so quickly. There is beauty among the ashes.   There's something sacred in the suffering.  There could be miracles we've missed if we say so long too soon.   Linger long enough to taste the miracle of joy!  

Reflections from A Sleepless Night - Tyson's Debut Appearance on MTMB's

Hey there!  I'm not really excited that my husband has had a case of the chicken pox lately, but I am really excited that he has written a post for our blog.  He has such an awesome heart, and he's a contemplator for sure.  He's all in with Jesus,  willing to wrestle through the hard stuff, and willing to walk with others also wrestling through the hard stuff.   Be encouraged!

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I have the Chicken Pox right now, so my sleep ended at 2 am last night for the itching.  Let me tell you it's no fun as an adult.  I'm sure it's not fun to have as a kid either :-). Symptoms have included fever, chills, headache, stiff neck, bumps with pointy blisters on top and itching as bad as if you laid in a bed of chiggers.  So at 2 am, I got up, put on salve, made a pot of coffee and looked for something good on Netflix. I watched the story about Rich Mullens, the singer/songwriter who wrote "Our God is an Awesome God". I was unaware before last night that his life was full of brokenness, loneliness, and sadness. Yet if you think about the lyrics of most of his songs, it makes sense.  They were birthed out of adversity, out of longing for his true home.   I believe Rich's authenticity helped many come out of hiding and find freedom in the love of Jesus.  In reflecting about my bout with pox, Rich Mullen's life, and our life this past year, the more I realize that what we learn is rooted much deeper, and less likely to be forgotten if it comes by experience rather than just reading about it.  His word helps us shape that experience with good perspective. 

These last few months have been especially difficult for our family, but some of the lasting fruit that has come through the adversity is that Gina and I have developed a list of  "resolves" for our marriage, and for our family that we add to and review periodically.  One of our resolves is that self-pity is not permitted - not in our kids and not in us. Self-pity is the opposite of thankfulness and leads down a destructive path.  We endeavor to model thankfulness daily, and invite Samuel and Luke in to pray with us, giving thanks to God for His goodness in our lives while bringing very real needs before him.  Of course we fail when we lose perspective, but our failures serve to help us remember that our dependence and trust lie in Him, and our resolves remind us of who He's called us to be and who we want to be.  He takes our failures, and our brokenness and He gives us Himself. He gives beauty for ashes and uses our specific brokenness to His advantage and to the benefit and encouragement of others around us.  He is God!

A Shoot Will Come Up...

"A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit."

Isaiah 11:1

We’ve been meditating on this scripture over the past couple of  weeks as we observe the advent season.  It has meant more to me this year than ever before.

Exactly one year ago, our family found ourselves in the midst of great difficulty.  We were weak, displaced, disillusioned, and floundering halfway across the world from family, familiarity, and anything resembling security.  We had just arrived in Africa after two years of preparation when we were hit with seven bouts of malaria as a family in the first eight weeks. We went and stayed on a farm with some kind folks in Zimbabwe while seeking medical care and rest. During that time Tyson became ill and couldn't get out of bed, and our 16 month old had diarrhea for 21 days straight.  To say it felt as though the stump was firmly in place with no signs of anything shooting out would be an understatement.  

In the depths of my soul, I knew the shoot was there.  I did. It had to be.  It is out of the stumps of life that the shoot springs forth.  Under all the layers of pain and discomfort, I felt something beautiful was going on. When life is unraveling and looking really hopeless is when it's just getting good.  The backdrop is forming to reflect something worth beholding.  

The Inn in Franklin, NC is where we found ourselves by mid-February after returning from Africa weary, broken, and longing for a glimpse of hope for our situation.  We needed a shoot to spring forth and it did!  The soil of our hearts were so fertile for the planting of His truth.  Difficulty plows up the hard places, shakes things up, and prepares us for roots to grow down deep.  The timing of our arrival was nothing short of a miracle.

As we were on our way to Franklin, I wasn't sure what to expect.  I was desperate for encouragement and hope, but a little fearful of making myself any more vulnerable than we already were. It was the fear of the unknown, but I'm so glad I chose to take the risk.  

From the moment we drove up, we were greeted so warmly right at our vehicle with staff and young people who were sincerely happy to have us and immediately started unpacking our luggage for us and helping us to get settled. 

The atmosphere and culture of love, humility, servanthood, and honor at The Inn was a soothing balm for our broken and hurting hearts, and I began to feel it immediately.  

I find it difficult to articulate what the Lord did in me, in our marriage, and in our family during those two weeks, but I'll do my best.  The way I picture it is that we were limping along doing the best we could with what we had on one plane, and the Lord reached down and lifted us up onto an entirely different plane and level of operating that has been unbelievable.  For the first time in our almost seven years of marriage I feel the covering and protection of my husband which frees me to be who God's made me to be as Tyson walks in and embraces His God given role in our relationship.  We now see our marriage as our highest calling, and are for the first time are experiencing the fruit of walking in agreement.  This was revolutionary for us, and it makes our relationship exponentially more effective in His Kingdom.  We now see that our own vision had to die, so that His vision for our lives could come into view.  So many scales were removed from our eyes during those two weeks, and such clarity came.

The teaching and guidance on parenting was just as life changing.  Our kids were loved on and poured into the entire time.  Not to mention, both of our kids were sick with colds, and Miss Melissa and others still loved and nurtured them so we could get the most out of our time there!  Tyson and I spent more one on one time together than we ever have since we've had children.  That was a gift in and of itself, and made it possible for us to get to the heart of matters.  It was there that we were able to see the purpose in our pain.  Everything about the entire two weeks was intentional and done with purpose for us to receive all that God had for us.  

Before we went to Africa, God impressed Matthew 13:44 on our hearts. "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field.  When the man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field."  We knew we wanted to go after the treasure of the Kingdom with all of our hearts.   Just when we thought "our calling" had crumbled and were feeling lost and confused as to what God was doing, we realized that our marriage and our family was the in fact the treasure in the field that we had given everything to possess. 

We cannot recommend The Inn highly enough.  It is more than worth the investment of time and money.  The Inn is not just for couples and families.  They are a training center for teenagers, young adults, and individuals as well. There's no vacation in the world that will satisfy your soul like opening yourself up to The Lord and what he has for you and your family for a solid week or two and receiving the gifts that flow through Larry, Susan, and all the wonderful folks there (in the beautiful mountains of western North Carolina no less)!  

Packing Up One Thing and Unpacking Another

Two years of preparation...Having a baby, selling our home, selling most of our material possessions, sharing our vision and plans with others who graciously got behind us prayerfully and financially, traveling around the country spending time with family and saying goodbye, eagerly anticipating the journey that lay ahead...Mozambique!  Fellow co-workers, a new home, a new language, new local friends, school students, prisoners, babies, mothers, hearts, souls... all treasures in the Kingdom of God we were ready to pour our lives out for.

The task of organizing and packing for a family of four to move across the world was no small project.  Lists and more lists of strategically including what we could into eight large suitcases.  I can still picture in my mind the week Tyson and I worked tirelessly in his dad's workshop with our stuff spread out everywhere waiting to make the cut.  What would we have done without that luggage scale?

Our biggest priority was the suitcase containing the boys' toys and books.  My mom heart wanted them to be surrounded by some of their most beloved familiar items.  We were so delighted when everything we had chosen for them fit perfectly right at the 50 pound limit.  We laughed as we had to shuffle the last few items the night before our flight to keep all eight cases right at 50 pounds.  My votive candles didn't make it.  We were kicking ourselves for that after the bazillionth power outage, but something had to go and it wasn't going to be toys, books, or mosquito spray.

After the tears of saying goodbye to our family came the exuberance of the culmination of the past two years finally coming to fruition.  It was surreal to be sitting on the plane headed to our new "home."  When we finally arrived to the compound where we would be living and stepped foot on our front porch with the truck still loaded to the hilt with carseats and suitcases time stood still for a moment,  and we were both overcome with emotion.  The praying, the sharing, the selling of our home, packing, selling, packing, preparing, fund raising, and journeying for two years and we finally made it! We were both thinking those things as we looked into each other's eyes.  We knew it and didn't have to say a word.  It was a moment I'll never forget.

Embracing our dear friends and having the reunion we'd been anticipating was sweet to the soul.  It took the boys no time to start running around chasing the dogs, finding bugs, and digging in the dirt.  They were made for this!   Exhausted but full of joy we stacked our suitcases inside the door and began to look around the house that we would call home.  Sweet notes and chocolates were waiting on the dining table welcoming us.


Too tired for much more, our suitcases lay in a pile the size of a mountain range in our living room floor as we got our bed nets set up over our beds and drifted off to sleep.

I couldn't wait to get unpacked and settled in and make our house a home.  Little did we realize, those suitcases would stay in the same spot for days.  The next morning Tyson woke up with a stomach bug that we must of picked up on our journey, and one by one it went through all of us - Luke was next, then me, and finally Samuel.  This began the roller coaster of illness we would find ourselves on for the next fifteen weeks.  We did manage to get unpacked and make strides towards settling in, but it wasn't long before we began getting hit with malaria.  Within eight weeks Tyson got it twice, I got it four times, and Samuel once.  We decided to go to Zimbabwe to get away from the malaria and recover after two months.  Four days after we arrived in Zimbabwe (I still had my fourth round of malaria) Tyson became ill with something that was never really diagnosed.  What we thought was going to be a time of healing and refreshing turned into six weeks of living in Zimbabwe with multiple doctor's visits and blood tests.  We could not go back to Mozambique not knowing what Tyson had or how to treat it.  It was obvious our malaria prevention medicine was not working, and therefore it was ultimately decided that we should come back to the states to seek further medical treatment.

Along with our head lamps, family photos, Bibles, and cooking spices we had packed anticipation, visions of family life on the mission field, hopes, expectations of serving, desires to grow and be good stewards of what we felt God calling us to, and much more.
I wrote a post about finding joy in suffering that shares a glimpse of what God was showing me in the midst of it all.  One by one it felt as though everything we had "packed" was steadily getting unpacked and thrown out.  We knew sickness and malaria were a reality where we were going, but getting hit so frequently in the transition of arriving for the first time is what took it's toll.

What do you do when the thing you would most dread or are fearful of starts creeping at your door? How in the world could we turn around and go home after only four short months when so many people have invested in us, believing in us to come and serve faithfully here in this land?  How could we let our team down who are counting on us to help with the projects going on?  How could God call us here just to get sick and go back home?  How could this be God? What is going on?  Is this a spiritual battle? Are we supposed to stay strong and fight on?  Did we not hear you correctly? 

We have wrestled.  We have grappled and confronted these questions head on.  Our theology of suffering and knowing God's will has been challenged in a good way.  You know, little questions like "Does God lead us into suffering?" and "How do we know God's calling on our lives for sure?"  

Anger - Disillusionment - Desperation - Depression - Anxiety - Hopelessness - Shame
They were all fighting for the rights to our souls.

Jumping in my mind back to loading our suitcases at JFK on the luggage cart.  With exhilaration we  hauled them for what seemed like miles. Checking in to our international flight, we weren't thinking "wow, I can't wait to go feel nauseated for weeks, hold my child in the middle of the night with 105 degrees of fever and feel more helpless than I ever have. I can't wait to watch my husband be pale and lethargic for six weeks in a foreign land wondering what he is sick with."   I don't think any of us ever sign up knowingly for suffering and brokenness.


Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, you are there; If I make my bed in the depths, you are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.  If  I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.   ~ Psalms 139:8-12

In sharing about our experience and our hardships, we acknowledge that suffering is relative.  So many others have endured and walked through much more difficult situations, but this is where we are and what God has and is using to refine us and reveal Himself to us.

As we have returned back to our homeland and begun to process all that we've experienced in the past year we are discovering that after what we "packed" in our luggage was emptied out and stripped away, the Lord in all of his strength, wisdom and kindness has lovingly loaded us down with treasures more precious than any cheap souvenir to slowly and carefully unpack one eternal gift at a time.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.  ~ Romans 8:18

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.  ~ James 1:2-4

We often think of the first part of this verse to dutifully consider it joy when we face difficulties, but do we stick around to let endurance have it's perfect work?

Mozambique and malaria is not something for us to discard and "get past." It has been my temptation to want to shut that door and move on as quickly as possible, but that would be a huge mistake.  It has been in these months following our return that so much has been revealed to us and we've seen the lasting impact this has had in the most important areas of our hearts and lives.  We have resolved to let endurance have it's perfect work and to hang on for the prize - the glory of the Lord to be revealed in us.  To carefully and intentionally unpack this thing.   Isn't it our nature to want out of the fire of our trials as quickly as possible?  Stop the pain.  Comfort ourselves and trade in for a different set of circumstances.  What are we forfeiting by doing this?  I'd venture to say everything!


We have been forever changed by this experience, and our prayer is that we can take what we've been given and make it an offering to encourage men, women, and families who we come in contact with.

Knowing always that God is good.

Love,

Gina and Tyson

Lessons Learned Lately

We’ve been in Africa for exactly two months.  It has been a time of settling, getting adjusted, acclimated, and finding our way.  I’m not going to say unfortunately because I see now that it hasn’t been unfortunate at all, but much of the past two months has been marked with sickness for us (especially me).  That’s one of the reasons there has been a long silence here.  Now I’m ready to share some of the things I’m learning through my own suffering.  I hesitate to claim I’ve suffered because all I have to do is look around to realize that what we’ve been through pales in comparison to so so so many others.  Nevertheless, it has been suffering for me and God has used it greatly in my life. 

We arrived here in Mozambique at the beginning of what is called “hot season.”  Let me tell you it has been hot, and we’re not quite halfway through the hot season yet.  It’s also rainy season.  The heat builds and builds for a few days and then we will get several days of thunderstorms and showers and it cools everything off.  It’s like you get a break in between the heat which is nice.  This is also high malaria season.  The heat and rain brings out the mosquitos.  These mosquitos are tiny and it’s often hard to tell that you’ve even been bitten.  However, they carry malaria.   You can only get malaria from being bitten by a mosquito that carries it.  So far Tyson has had it twice, Samuel once, and me three times.  I just got over it when Tyson came down with it again.  He is currently on treatment medication.  We are all four taking a prophylaxis medication to prevent us from getting it, but it seems the malaria is beginning to resist the medication.  It’s very hard to describe what malaria feels like.  It can be different for different people.  The medications used to treat it are so strong that once you’re on them it’s hard to tell what’s malaria and what’s the medicine.  For me, I feel extremely week and faint with chills, fever, and nausea.  The medicine Tyson is on makes him dizzy and have ringing in his ears.  He also has chills and some nausea.   So that’s malaria!  So many millions of people have lived facing this their whole lives.  Many who do not have access to sprays, bednets, and treatment medication like we do.  Thankfully we do have medicine and it works.  We treat ourselves quickly to reduce the severity.  

With all that being said, we in no way want malaria or sickness to be the theme of our time here.  God’s goodness in our lives, his sovereignty, and our purpose here is SO much greater.  It just happens to be what God has used for our good during this little season.  That’s really what I want to share – a little piece of my heart. 

So, this has been rough for mama!  Like really rough.  The heat, the kids with diarrhea, the culture shock, the kids with culture shock, the malaria, the distance between me and my extended family, and all the photos of pumpkin spice lattes on facebook to name a few.  I’ve had some dark days.  My darkest days so far came last week when I had malaria for the third time.  Not only was I so sick and weak but the medicine I took to treat it caused intense feelings of depression and anxiety.  Intense! I’ve never felt like that before in my life.  At one point, I cried and begged Tyson to pack us up and take us home.  He reminded me we didn’t have a home in the states.  LOL!  I didn’t care, I just wanted out of here and out of my circumstances.  I did not see how I could take another breath it was so painful.  Being so sick and so weak made me really homesick for family and comfort I think.  I could not see the forest for the trees to put it mildly, BUT today I rejoice. 

I have more joy in my heart right now than I’ve had in a very long time.  I see now that God is doing something beautiful and grand and wonderful in our lives.  Suffering is the path to beautiful and wonderful and grand.  I see that. I feel that.  In the past two months, our circumstances have removed all the things that have propped up our character and our substance to make it look way larger than in fact it really is.  I’ve seen that with those props no longer around, my faith and my character has been revealed to be quite small and very unimpressive for sure.  Times like these will bring out the ugly if you know what I mean or should I say the real raw truth.  Even in the torment and weakness I could hear that still small voice saying, “this is good, I’m doing something beautiful.”  Tyson and I on several occasions agreed that we somehow felt that way. 

Here are a few observations I’ve made and things I’ve discovered lately. 

Suffering, if endured results in unspeakable joy!  I’ve been researching as many scriptures as I can about suffering and almost all of them speak of joy or rejoicing.  I had an encounter like that the other night.  As I was up during the night feeling sick and shaky I cried out to God in desperation.  I was so desperate, I said “God, you don’t even have to heal me, just let me know you’re here with me.”  I see now, that in my weakness more than wanting Him to do something for me, I just longed for Him.  Apparently, I was on the right track because, no sooner did I pray that than a flood of joy washed over me that I can hardly describe.  It was an overwhelming all consuming joy out of nowhere and such a undeniable sense of God’s presence and peace.  

James 1:2

Consider it all JOY my bretheren when you encounter various trials.  Knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing. 

Besides joy, suffering seems to go hand in hand with endurance.  I found it interesting that James said to let endurance have its perfect result.  I’m glad we’re choosing endurance.  Last week, I wanted to jump ship.  I guess that’s where my opportunity came to let endurance have its perfect result. 

Another scripture God has continually brought to my attention is Psalm 126: 5-6

“Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting.  He who goes to and fro weeping carrying his bag of seed, shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.”

This is perspective.  I want to endure for the joyful shouting.  I don’t want to give up with my seeds to sow.  I want to shout for joy carrying a harvest with me.  I’m so thankful for God and my husband holding me through the tears, believing in me and in us when I wanted to run away.  I’m feeling so alive to see that there’s joy on the other side of suffering and it can even come right in the midst of the pain.  It can be all mixed together! 

Another revelation I’ve had is that desperation leaves no room for doubt.  My cries to God have been desperate lately.  It dawned on me that when we see Jesus perform miracles and healings in the Bible it usually involved a desperate cry or a desperate person.  I could imagine the desperation in the woman who reached out to touch the hem of his robe in Luke 8.   Immediately she was healed.  I wonder if it was because God responds to desperation or if there was no doubt in her because of her desperation?  When I’m not so desperate, I have plenty of room to entertain doubt. 

I know there is more, much more God is doing here.  I’m just so encouraged to be in his joy and to feel Him so near and to see purpose in all of this.  I choose to endure.  It’s worth it!

Unexpected Blessings

Since July 14th, we have been moved out of our home and out on the open road traveling to see family and friends before we leave for Africa in September.  Honestly, I don't think we've had a chance to truly process it all - making that transition from Tyson's job, our home, and our community of friends.  It's like we were standing at the edge for so long, and now we've finally taken the big leap!  At times it feels surreal, a little anxiety producing, and exhausting.  However, what we've experienced the most since stepping out into the unknown and putting all of our eggs in God's basket so to speak is an undeniable sense of His presence, mercy, peace, and provision.   Picture that Dad running behind his little child who is learning to ride a bike without training wheels for the first time.  He's holding on to the back of their seat not about to let go.  They can peddle with confidence because they know Daddy's got them.

I have to share this one story with you that has happened to us recently because it captures what I'm talking about.  Last week we set off from Tyson's family's home in North Carolina to see my family in Louisiana and Texas.  We had driven about nine hours (with small children!) before stopping in Alabama the first night.  You don't have to use your imagination much to picture how "done" we were at that point.  However, we weren't too tired to realize we wanted Mexican food for dinner. Practical I know!  By the time we left our hotel room, we'd already done the obligatory swimming in the hotel pool for Samuel, thrown our dry clothes back on, and were racing to beat the pre-dinner meltdown from Luke.  We arrived at the Mexican restaurant we had "googled" that was supposed to be great, unload, walk in to realize it was way too posh and not kid friendly by the fact they didn't have high chairs and the looks that were hitting us.  "Sorry kids, we know you've been in the car forever today, you're starving, and your coping skills are waning.  "Mom and Dad are determined to eat Mexican tonight so we're cramming you back in your car seats while we find something more suitable."  Insert some tension between Tyson and I, and you get the picture.  Thanks to modern technology we found something we thought looked  more suitable and were on our way while I casually mentioned that this was preparing us for the inconveniences of living in a third world country.  Minutes later we're in the parking lot of another MR(Mexican restaurant) that's obviously more suitable and munching on chips and salsa in no time.  Seated next to us was a woman who was eating alone.  She looked to be in her sixties and you could tell she was a local by the familiar conversation she was having with her waiter calling him by his first name and chatting casually.
Later, during the meal we see our little extrovert waving his heart out at the lady, but she didn't see him.  Looking flustered he said, "She's not saying hi to me."  I said, "She doesn't see that you're waving to her.  Wait until she sees you, and then you can say hello to her."  Samuel never took his eyes off of her.  She wasn't getting away easily!  Finally, as she was standing up to leave, she glanced his direction and he was waving at her like he was a hitch hiker trying to flag someone down.  She didn't have a choice but to speak to him.  We could tell she was a friendly person right away or we would not have let our kid keep on if we thought he was annoying her.  The conversation went something like this. "Hi, what's your name?  My name is Shirley, what's yours?  My name is Samuel. I'm a rescuer.  Oh, you are? Yes." (deep breath in) and here it went... "This is my mom and dad.  We're on a long trip.  We're staying at a hotel because we're going to Africa....."  Shirley's trying to digest more than her Mexican food at this point, and we're looking on trying to decide when to interject something.  "Wow, Samuel.  You're going to Africa?"  We then began to chat with Shirley and clarify what we were doing.  One thing led to another as she wanted to hear more of our story and we wanted to hear hers.  This turned into an hour long conversation that eventually moved to the parking lot.  Before we knew it, Shirley had grabbed our meal check and insisted on picking up the tab.  Tyson did most of the talking and listening as I kept Luke from eating things off the floor and Samuel from going home with any other customers he befriended.  Shirley was on her own faith journey as well.  She lost her husband four years ago and has been through some very difficult times.  She's recently retired after a successful business career and is writing a couple of books about her journey.  In just one hour's time we had made a heart connection with this woman, she had paid for our meal, we exchanged contact information, and teared up saying good bye as I believe we were all touched by God's unmatchable and unexpected kindness.  When we got in the car to leave we were a little speechless trying to take in the whole experience which had never before happened to us.  As I've thought about it, our crash landing at that particular restaurant seated next to Shirley and connecting with her while having our meal paid for had absolutely nothing to do with our merit.  The whole thing was quite chaotic and messy.  Our attitudes stunk on the way, our motives were selfish (MR), and our kids were dirty and fussy.  Like we really had any business traipsing all over town looking for the "right" place.  Just grab a Happy Meal and get to bed!  I can tell you we never prayed something like "Lord, just lead us to the right place as we moan and groan looking for what we want."  I don't know what Shirley's day was like leading up to that point, but I wonder if she was expecting a sweet brown eyed little boy to notice her, want to be her friend, and pursue her like she was the Dutchess of Cambridge?  I wonder.  Does anybody see what this is pointing to?  or should I say who?  He's a loving Father.  Faith pleases Him - not behavior or appearance, or effort.
As we've pulled away from the shore (as we see it) and found ourselves out in the deep end without bringing our life raft with us, we are experiencing that God loves this!  He is over and over again saying, "I am with you." "You can trust me." "I will not let you down."  I know that there will be days and there have been when I'm in that place of having to choose faith when I don't see  Him so clearly, so I pray that this will be one of those remembrance stones to look back on and know that He is who He says He is.

Moving Forward (Part 2)

I wrote Moving Forward (Part I) to share where we were in the process of getting back to Africa, and am continuing to share our journey as we go along.  We finished up our stay with friends and realized we would be in the states several more months as we raise more funds and continue preparations.  Once again, we have seen God's hand move on our behalf.  We found a nice comfortable place to lease in a great location.  We're very close to Tyson's job, and just around the corner from great friends.  The owner has been very gracious to us and is giving us super flexible lease terms in support of what we're
trying to do.  Since unpacking again, it has allowed us to do even more sorting and downsizing of things we don't need.  I'm convinced now, one must go through their things several times to keep clearing out the clutter.  It's just amazing how quickly we accumulate STUFF isn't it?  Therefore, we've been doing a lot of craigslisting and Goodwill drop offs.  Feels good for sure!  Having our own space again has been good for us as a family.  Samuel really likes it here.  I'm trying to do "Preschool" time with him on a regular basis because he just soaks it up and loves to be challenged with new activities.  Luke is growing and changing faster than we can keep up.  He's finally gotten a tooth and is beginning
to crawl.  Best of all, he gives kisses now!!! :)  

We are finally feeling settled in at the moment and turning our focus back to establishing our support team for moving full time to Africa.  This process has been good for us on many fronts and will continue to be I'm sure.  We're learning to live a more interconnected, interdependent life with those God has put around us.  We are learning to be more vulnerable and transparent.  Everything in me screams for independence at times.  Just ask my husband!!  I'm naturally a very independent person, so I need God to infuse me with His nature on a daily basis.  I'm reminded as I reflect that we were all created for relationship.  We were meant to live reciprically giving and receiving to experience the fullness of what He has for us.  It's just so darn contrary to my nature, but when I surrender and humble myself and TRUST, then peace and joy follow.

Practically speaking...We're wrapping up a newsletter that we are sending out sharing details about what we'll be doing and inviting folks to invest in us and the work being done in Mozambique. Side note: If you don't think you're on our mailing list but would like to be, please email us or PM me on facebook(our email is at the bottom of this blog) and we'd be excited to ad you.  

If you feel drawn to do so, we'd greatly appreciate your prayers for us.   The opportunity to get discouraged or doubtful seems to come knocking frequently.  The day we left Mozambique to come home almost two years ago, the team gathered around and prayed for us for a safe return and for the Lord's help to get back in His timing.  As they were praying, I kept hearing the phrase "faces like flint" in my mind over and over.  This has since become one of our theme verses on this journey,

"Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced.  Therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know I will not be put to shame.  ~Isaiah 50:7

So, onward we walk looking for the beauty that today holds right here where we are desiring to be vessels of His love and grace as we set our faces like flint towards moving our family to serve in Africa.  Step by step....  

Blessings over you!!!

Gina

Where My Help Comes From

As I was driving down the road earlier, this old hymn came on the radio.  It really hit me in the heart, so I came home and found it on youtube and thought I'd share.

There's a line in the song that says, "Here I raise my Ebenezer."
I  wondered what "my Ebenezer" meant and found that it's from 1 Samuel 7:12 "Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen.  He named it Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far has the Lord helped us."  


Thank you, Lord for that reminder today.  I needed it!!

Thank You For Our Friends (Samuel's Prayer)

I love this kid.  Have I said that before??  

Tonight while we were eating at the dining room table,  Tyson and I were chatting about something when we saw Samuel bowing his head down and talking very softly.  Tyson noticed before I did.

All the sudden I realized he was praying.  We both got quiet so we could hear what was being said, and through all the jabbering we heard in the sweetest voice you could ever imagine...

"Thank you for our friends."       Priceless.    

Risk

I found this quote about risk a while back and saved it.  I can't imagine why I've been thinking about it lately.   Maybe packing my kid up and taking him with us to a third world country where there are all kinds of diseases, deadly snakes, witch craft, and other dangers has caused me to think about it.  I don't know...

ONLY A PERSON WHO RISKS IS FREE

by Author Unknown

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach for another is to risk involvement.

To expose your ideas, your dreams,

before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To live is to risk dying.

To believe is to risk despair.

To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken, because the

greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The people who risk nothing, do nothing,

have nothing, are nothing.

They may avoid suffering and sorrow,

but they cannot learn, feel, change,

grow, love, live.

Chained by their attitudes they are slaves;

they have forfeited their freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.

I just love this!  It's so true.  I was being a little sarcastic above about all the dangers of Africa, but seriously I have off and on struggled with overwhelming fears about those things.  I always come back to the same conversation in my head that goes something like this, "What am I going to do?  Stay home and play safe.  Miss out on all that God could have for us because I want to be in control?  Live in regret and always wonder what could have been?  Decide that these uncertainties hold greater value than relationships and people?"   Then the answer becomes clear - No way!  It is truly life giving to reach beyond what I can grab onto.  Beyond what I can do myself.  This actually gives God the chance to be who He says He is in our lives.  I'm always so tempted to have a Plan B just in case God doesn't come through.  

Like I shared earlier, this season of preparing to go to Africa has exposed my heart in many ways, and God has already so specifically spoken into those.  There was one week that I was obsessing about the risk of getting malaria while there.  I was spending hours looking up tons of info.  and letting it have large chunks of my thought life.  Obsessing!  It reeled in my head most of the night one night and the next morning Psalm 91 came to mind.  I've read this psalm a thousand times because it is so reassuring of God's protection, but this particular morning one single verse jumped out at me.  Psalm 91:3 - For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper and from the deadly pestilence that stalk by night... Wow!  It not only said I will deliver you, but I will deliver you from deadly little bugs that stalk in the night which is when malaria carrying mosquitos are most prevalent.  Sounds like I wasn't the first person to have this concern, and God loved me enough speak to my specific fear.  I felt such peace and the Father's love that He cared about my heart and what I was struggling with.  From that moment on this obsession about malaria lost its power.  When it does try to creep up, I have this moment and this verse to meditate on.  This is just one example of the ways I've experienced God's faithfulness during this process.   I think God wants to be my Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C.   

I often read the devotional, My Utmost for His Highest.   This one is called "Reaching Beyond our Grasp."   I love his line that says, "Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, Or what's heaven for?"

Stay tuned, I'm sure there's more to come...

What's that risk that's calling out to you?  I dare you to take it.  

A-F-R-I-C-A

 Our news that I left you hanging with yesterday  two days ago is that we're going to Africa this summer!  It's a long story, and we've had the chance to share it with many of you, but this is the first blog post about it.  We are planning to spend four weeks in Mozambique this summer volunteering with some folks who have been there many years.  Our hope is that we will get a feel while we're there if this is a good fit for us on a more long term basis.  The opportunity to go to Africa opened up to us several months ago, but the idea of going overseas was born in both of our hearts many years ago.  I suspect the idea has been in God's heart even longer.  Tyson has his story of how this type of calling was planted in him and I have mine.  Since our paths first crossed almost five years ago this was always a common thread.  Now we're so excited that the time has come for us to embark on this adventure together as a couple and as a family.  

My "More than Miniblinds" explanation alludes to the fact that our hearts have been restless - longing for more.   I do want to say that I'm in no way down playing or minimizing the importance or value of making a difference right where you are on a daily basis.  Too me, that can be more difficult than heading off to a distant land.  Just wanted to share my thoughts on that before going any further.  

Back to how this all came about - We began wrestling with our restlessness and praying for direction.  We had a few of our own ideas but they quickly fizzled out.  Finally we began to rest in the fact that at the right time we would just know, and there need not be any striving or fretting.

That's when we were delightedly blindsided with an invitation to come to Africa and check it out.   The peace we had when praying about this was clearly that "peace that passes understanding."   It's what I have to hold on to on the days when I think we must be out of our minds!  Proverbs 3:5-6 comes in handy too: "Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight."  

 What will we be doing in Africa?  Good question.   We hope to simply get to know the other workers and serve them wherever needed to begin with.  Four weeks is a short time in the scheme of things, but we feel it will be enough to get a confirmation one way or the other if we are supposed to go back or not.  There is already lots of great work going on there that we will get a glimpse of.  There is a feeding clinic for babies that is feeding around 700 babies weekly.   They provide powdered milk to care givers, weight checks for the babies, and other care.  I'm not exactly sure to be honest.  With my background in working with special needs babies this could be an opportunity to identify babies who need extra help and encourage their caregivers.   We also know a preschool has been pioneered and it's thriving.  I've been in frequent contact with the woman who started it and I'm excited to serve where need there too.  I believe the opportunities will be endless for Tyson as well through the avenues of sports, prison outreach, ESL...Honestly, we won't know until we get there.  I almost feel presumptuous mentioning what we will be doing because I'm sure Africa will change us more than we will change Africa.  We can have our little ideas, but God is writing our story and He's all about the journey.   I heard the quote once, "The journey is the destination."   So true!   We heard. We're trusting.  We're going.  We're on the journey!

Sooo...The plan is that Samuel, Tyson, and I will be leaving on a jet plane sometime mid-July.  Passports - check!  Shots - check!   Many other preparations are coming along as well.  We will keep you posted as things progress.  If you would like more information or feel led to partner with us financially please contact us via email:  www.ginaandtyson(at)gmail(dot)com and we will be more than happy to share more with you and let you know how you can make a tax deductable contribution.   Even more so, we would welcome your prayers for us as we take this plunge into deeper waters of faith and trust.